First-born

Dear Iah, the beautiful debutante, our beloved panganay (first-born):

As we are all busy in the preparations for your 18^th birthday, my mind keeps wandering back to that special day – the day you came into our lives.

The memory of that day is still etched in my mind so vividly. I felt emotions that I had never felt before. It’s amazing how a small person can change one’s life forever.

I know that we should be out there in a nice resort and enjoying this important event and not stuck at our homes. Unfortunately, we are fighting a war against a deadly virus, so I hope you understand and appreciate this simple celebration we have prepared for you.

We may be lacking wealth and material possessions, but we are overflowing with love and joy.

Now that you are grown up and more understanding, I can share with you that life is not always rosy and easy.

One of our constant struggles has been to give you the life you deserve. You might not have realized; but we all sometimes have to make sacrifices to make sure we are able to provide you with the best of everything. We may not be able to give you “everything”, but rest assured we give you all our deepest love.

Being the eldest child sucks, right? I know how it feels because I am one.

I carry the burden since I was born. It’s like a curse that I have to live with. I agree that putting a lot of pressure and responsibilities on the eldest child is a toxic and unacceptable culture. No one should ever live with that burden. This has to change.

As a panganay, I want you to be a strong, confident and compassionate person. Love yourself first because you can never fill from an empty cup.

While emotional strength and independence are important, financial stability and security is also crucial in life, more so for the rainy days and for the benefit of self and loved ones. You have seen how, in many families like ours, some people have to make some painful decisions due to poverty.

So please use your talent and skills to improve your life and those that matter to you. Be financially independent. Learn how to spend wisely. Save money. Live simply. And most importantly: Be a good example to your little sisters. They look up to you.  

If you want to achieve something, start planning from today. Do your best, be passionate and determined. Ask for help. Don’t be scared to fail. Without failure, you will never know success.

Life will always be full of pain and disappointments. Choose to love and forgive, anyway. And if ever you get hurt or disappointed, know that we are here, always willing to give you a piece of our hearts so you can be whole again.

On your 18^th birthday, I wish that you may always wear an infectious smile, protect your peace, carry an open mind, and share a generous heart.

Be strong. Be happy. Be kind. Be grateful. Be something. Be you.

Know always that I will forever hold you in my heart.

Happy birthday my beloved panganay. I love you forever and always.

Always,

Mamido